birth control should be required to get into college
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
