im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
