Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
