She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
