i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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