this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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