she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize