haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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