i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
This house was built for laser tag.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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