Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
My pussy is not your playground.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
