2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
