I want to make a zoo with you.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
