Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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