what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
