I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
