I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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