shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
My balls are so social today.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
