PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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