I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
