We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
