i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize