My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
