There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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