he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
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I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
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Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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