Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
