it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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