ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
