in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
