thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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