Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
