he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
