The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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