YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Sacagawea was the original milf.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize