Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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