She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize