party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
