Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Let the clothes fall where they may.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
