yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
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