When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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