then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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