how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
