her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
