I want to have your abortion
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
