i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
