that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize