Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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