whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
