omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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