i already hear my dad disowning me
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
