i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
