Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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