Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Randomize
