dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
