Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
