TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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