we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
