wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
