There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
