New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
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He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
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Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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