Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize