Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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